so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
