Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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