And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
