What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
