scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize