Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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