Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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