She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
