to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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