Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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