Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
