She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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