The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
