We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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