He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
