I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
