hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.