I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
