if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive