Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real