:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
