I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
