the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
