Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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