Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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