sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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