I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
two words: eviction party
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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