I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
home. puking in laundry basket.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
