Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
