Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
