why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
