i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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