haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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