Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
