If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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