8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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