I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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