that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
