he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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