I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it hurts more in the daytime
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
