wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
