So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
