i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
