I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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