listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
