oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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