After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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