I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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