why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
