Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
