No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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