i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
