I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
