Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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