If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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