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• (248): View more from Michigan

  toast her oven

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  toast her strudel

  (248): View more from Michigan

  inspect her gadget

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  "The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.

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• (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.

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• (818): View more from California

  Also I like oatmeal more than sex.

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