What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
