Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
