Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
