is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
