Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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