k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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