Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
