I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
