And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
