Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
