Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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