I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
