I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
